


Soft Things

by catmusing



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo has PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9987194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catmusing/pseuds/catmusing
Summary: Kylo Ren wakes up aboard a familiar and yet unknown ship. His body aches and it hurts to remember but there is Rey of light.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A mostly fluffy oneshot. There are brief (very brief) mentions of canon violence and hints at sex.
> 
> This is my first real attempt at writing a fanfiction, I wanted to get more into writing so I can work on bigger things for the pairings I adore.  
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> http://reyren.tumblr.com/

Darkness. Pain. Then there was a bright light.

 

Everything was out of focus as he came to consciousness. His eyes blurred everything together and even the dim yellow lights of whatever vessel he was on now made his head burn. Quickly he closed his eyes; sight was hardly reliable anyway in most situations. Instead he reached out with the force to assess his current situation; the ship he was on was small yet familiar but in this confused state he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Even through the force nothing seemed to make sense. He had no idea what had happened and that very fact stressed him out even more.

 

He started to panic, even after Snoke’s grueling torture, he would leave Kylo able to recover. Able to crawl back to his quarters and address his wounds. This, however, was worse.  _ Pain brings power,  _ he was taught, but this situation seemed anything but powerful to him. He moved his right wrist slightly and felt his fingertips slide across a soft fabric. Not like anything he had in the Order. He tried his other wrist and found restriction, only able to move it a few inches before what felt like hard leather into his skin. Was he shirtless?

 

He arched his chest up and pulled his arm again in an attempt to free himself from the binding but instead only a searing pain cut through his chest and rocked all the way up his body, rattling his already severe migraine. He let out a gasp of air and stopped fidgeting, something was wrong. He opened his eyes again, trying to find any clue of what was going on but it stung all over again. He could smell iron and the faintest hint of bacta.

 

He started to panic, his chest rising and falling and his breathing quickened. Nothing now would calm him, he tried to focus on the quiet hum of the ship but even that was erratic and offbeat. He could tell the ship itself was old from that, falling apart. Maybe he was put away with the garbage, to finally be let free of his miserable existence.

 

Snoke must be finally ready to do away with him, he had somehow brought Kylo back-- He had been so bad. He couldn’t even remember the exact acts, he was sure it was helping the resistance, restoring order to the jedi, letting his mother cradle him in her arms. There was much he needed to repent for and his master was not forgiving.

 

Then there was the sound of two feet hitting the ground as if someone had gotten out of a chair and finally, light footsteps.

 

“I think he’s awake.”

 

A girl’s voice, light, determined, and with a very familiar coruscant accent.

 

“Again? Damn it. We’re nearly out of painkillers.”

 

This time it was a male speaking. He sounded tired but not irritated, there was concern in his voice. Identifying this voice was difficult, though it was familiar, someone who he had spent recent times with. Someone he had grown to understand and value.

 

He heard the footsteps draw closer to him. They stopped briefly as the person shuffled on the shelf for something and then continued toward him. His mind raced wondering if he should prepare himself for an attack or if there was even anything he could do to defend himself. 

 

The person was now next to him, he could sense that much. Their figure was small and he felt a light pressure on one side of whatever cot he was set upon as they must have placed their hand. It caused him to flinch.

 

The female voice spoke softly, as if this wasn’t the first time she had come to him. “If you keep trying to move you’re going to hurt yourself. It’s okay..”

 

He could sense a change in mood followed by a long sigh from her, “You did try again, didn’t you? You need to stop moving, Ben.”

 

His breath caught in his throat at the use of that name and only furthered his confusion, now he was certain if he wasn’t already before that this was no First Order vessel. In fact, the entire scenario seemed like deja vu. There was something about the name Ben, it was so familiar in her tongue and yet foreign to his ears, especially in his frantic state.

 

He opened his eyes, wincing immediately. Everything was still blurred but as he tilted his head downward he could see her, a girl with brown hair sloppily tossed around the back of her neck.  She was leaning over the bed, unscrewing whatever bottle she had picked up. To the side he could see she had set down a pile of bandages.

 

“You.. Scavenger.”

 

She turned her head off his chest and frowned. Hard. “Ben..” She caught herself before he could react, “Kylo, you need to relax.”

 

He fluttered his eyes closed, there was something about the girl that calmed him. He had no idea what it was but waves of relief soon flooded him. He would be better.

 

Kylo concentrated back on the force instead and this time it was more forgiving, light images appeared of pale cloth and rough sand. Her hands ran over his skin in a quiet room, the two were laying down, this time he wasn’t in pain. It felt safe, not with the order.  _ She  _ was safe. Her lithe and yet muscular body was over his, her lips touched down to his collarbone, ran over his chest, over sensitive scars. He wondered if he now had a new scar.

 

“Rey.” He rasped.

 

“Yes. It’s me, Kylo. I’m going to help.”

 

Her voice was softer, just like he was picturing her. Another flash of images. Her hand wrapped around his own, her body sunken down beside him in a bundle of sheets, her hair was in his face but she was so close. He would have never wanted anything more.

 

“I’m going to give you the last dose of the painkiller we have. You keep trying to get up and out of bed, if you do that you’re going to hurt yourself  _ again _ .” She explained in almost a mumble.

 

Kylo nodded very slightly at her words though he mostly just enjoyed hearing them. Listening now would be another challenge entirely.

 

“Do you understand, Kylo?” 

 

He thought he did. Though everything was still a blur, he knew one thing though, she was safety. He was hers.

 

Slowly he nodded, “Yes, but I have one request... Could you at least kiss me?”

 

She paused, clearly weighing her options. There was a tone of slight amusement to her voice when she spoke. Maybe she remembered too.

 

“..and if I do that will you be good for me and rest?”

 

Before he could respond he felt the weight of the bed shift again and she moved closer. He wanted to peek, to open his eyes and see if she would treat him to that request but before he did she met him. Her lips gently touched over his forehead, above his nose, and then she was everything. He felt himself practically shudder at her gentle touch, she was above the pain and the tragedy, whatever had fallen upon him.

 

She pulled back finally or perhaps too soon and it was gone but he would hold onto that feeling of brightness, of shining light. 

 

“I’m going to be back but you need to rest now.” She shifted back off the bed and stood. She seemed to wait a moment there before turning. “Have good dreams, my love.”

 

He heard the door slide shut and then the nothingness again. Only the low hum of the old ship and the occasional bump of the engines. Strangely he was reminded of his childhood and the many times he was aboard his father’s vessel. Another tender spot that would never be healed, it stung to think about but luckily the darkness was catching onto him again and soon he faded with it.

 

________

  
  


The next time consciousness was more friendly.

 

He wasn’t thrown blindly back in but slowly awoke as it seemed the other voice, the man, was next to him. He could feel his chest exposed and the bandage being changed over it. His head still ached like a kriffing Rancor had crushed it in under it’s foot but he could manage sight. It was the one he would have called a traitor in another time. What seemed like years ago. Yet he was helping him. Granted, someone he would have called a traitor would always be a far better man than he ever was.

  
“How does it look?”

 

He must have startled Finn as the man almost jumped in place and turned his head toward Kylo. “Damn it!”

  
Finn exahled, “It doesn’t look great.”

  
Kylo forced himself to smirk, “Is it going to make ugly?”

 

“It isn’t any worse from how you usually look if that’s what you’re asking.” Finn smirked back and finished the final layer of bandages. “You’ll probably scar since we don’t have enough bacta. But you’re going to live. You’ve done worse to me.”

 

Kylo cringed at that and nodded slightly despite sensing no malice in Finn’s voice. Still, he couldn’t recall what had happened. His chest burned as if it had been slashed open and he supposed there was a good chance that wasn’t far from the truth. Through the force he could feel chaos and fear, the surprised shriek of a girl and the magnificent growl of some beast. It radiated with primal energy, even now it’s claws pierced the echos of the force around him. It was powerful and overwhelming, so similar to something that was once everywhere inside him.

 

“Did it win?”

 

Finn frowned, by now he finished and pulled the blanket back over Kylo.

 

“Rey told me you had a hard time remembering, that you were confused. We thought it was because of the drugs. You were in a lot of pain so we were generous with them. I’m now wondering if you hit your head too.”

 

Kylo tried to process what he was saying, so he was in battle? “My head is fine.”

 

Finn knew he was lying but before he could address that Rey appeared in the doorway.

  
“He’s up again? You should have told me..” She smiled genuinely at Finn, big and bright like she was giving life with it.

 

Finn shrugged and stood, “It’s better than just standing around, waiting for the scanners to pick up wherever the hell Poe went. He’s looking better though, so that's good news.”

 

He walked past Rey and touched her shoulder as he left the room, an unspoken gesture to let her know everything would be fine. Kylo felt a strange appreciation for the man, he was always there for Rey. He could remember that much.

 

Rey came back to the side of the bed now and looked him over. Her eyes hovered on his chest for slightly longer than the rest of his body then finally moved to his face.

  
“You’re looking so much better and it’s all because you  _ finally  _ listened.” She stuck her tongue through her lips playfully, “Isn’t that such a rare occasion?”

 

Kylo raised an eyebrow at that and turned his head toward her, causing his dark hair to fall over his face. His neck felt stiff, probably from laying down for so long but overall the pain was not nearly as unbearable. 

 

“Did I now?”

 

She grinned. “Yes. Which is a surprise considering how far out you were when you woke up last time. I’ve seen dehydrated Rodians look and respond better.”

 

Kylo could have snorted at that. It brought back another onslaught of memories, her alone in a desert, scavenging in the sand for a downed Tie-Fighter; though this memory was not his own. There was an alien too who was blue in color, he tried to take away her victories, he however like many others was no match for her staff. Another memory of her telling him stories as he was locked up someplace more hospitable, perhaps a resistance base. She sat in front of him, strangely infatuated by the stories he had, the stories they would now share.

 

“You forget I haven’t always seen you at your best either.” 

 

“No, but for some reason you always tend to throw yourself in danger. It doesn’t usually look well.”

 

“Well if I recall you have also done that a fair number of times. Besides, I thought you enjoyed my scars.”

  
She rolled her eyes, “You’re going to make me regret ever saying that. I like the scars that were already there. I don’t like watching the story of a new one.”

 

“Fair, and I couldn’t say the feeling is pleasant. There are better ways make myself seem unique than this but I’m not the only one who has done reckless things.. Whatever I did.”

 

He frowned at the feeling of confusion again. The event was on the tip of his tongue and yet he couldn’t place it. He needed to tease her, to get her to laugh again, “I can vividly remember you jumping in front of baby ewoks to save them, it’s weak.”

 

She seemed to be happy with that comment as her next move was sitting down on a spot beside him and laughing to herself.

 

“I do want to meet an ewok, we still haven’t visited Endor and it was on the list.”

 

_ List _ . Kylo remembered that. Rey was sitting down across from him, she and Finn had forged a list of planets. They wanted to see it all, to take in the entire galaxy and conquer it for their memories. Endor. Corellia. Naboo. They were places to visit.

 

“You still have so much time to go see them. Or you can leave me and see for yourself, I never want to stop you from seeing everything.” Though the thought of her leaving him stuck here was enough to induce the feelings from earlier.

 

Rey frowned at him. “You know, I’m not a huge fan of this self-sacrificing act. I don’t want to lose you, Kylo. I can’t and you know that.” Her hand ran over his face, to fix the fallen strands of hair in front of his eyes. She kept her hand in his hair, moving her fingers over so slightly. She knew how much he loved his head to be touched, especially his hair.

 

“Though you could always manage to lose some of this hair.” She laughed softly, her eyes shining on him and slowing everything down. He could be as still as the void if she was the star shining on him.

 

“You wouldn’t like that. You’ve told me you like it long, you like how it shapes my face.”

 

She shrugged and placed a finger to her lips as if she was in deep thought, “Did I? Because if I recall I said it makes you look like a scoundrel and it always gets in way.”

 

Kylo formed the corner of his lips into a smile, he was already feeling better. Thoughts of the First Order no longer overwhelmed him. He knew he was here.

 

“No. I said that about  _ you _ , you always have it down when you sleep and it gets everywhere as if you’re trying to make a nest out of it. It’s especially a bigger pain when we’re fucking.”

 

He could see her cheeks turn pink at that comment. “Well I’m going to have to just take that into consideration. Though, you’ve really never shown the desire to have much say in what I do in bed.” Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “You always like to follow.”

 

Kylo met her eyes back, his expression matching hers. “You might just be right.”

 

She leaned forward and kissed him on the nose, her eyes searching his own. “If you want me to, I can cut it but only if you cut yours too.”

 

“No.” He said quickly, “It’s perfect.”

 

He wouldn’t want her to change a single thing about herself, hair included, though she seemed to change that periodically anyway.

 

He tilted his head up to meet her lips this time and she seemed to melt right into him. He wondered how long he had been strapped here, neither of them were very good at going long without the touch of the other. They had each spent too much time alone themselves.

 

Their lips parted after some time and Rey glanced at his wrist, still cuffed to the bed in attempt to prevent him from getting up. She was careful to undo the strap and slide it off his arm. “I was wondering how long I would have to wait before you were well enough that I could do that.”

 

“You could have done it earlier.” He murmured. “It’s convenient you had it here in the first place, isn’t it?”

  
She giggled and set the leather strap down on the bed. “Well considering the strange things you enjoy, it’s not so much of a coincidence. Back on Jakku anyone would be appalled to hear about the things you want done to yourself.”

 

“Yet you seem to enjoy my ideas, don’t you?” He knew she did, she loved having someone that would do anything for her.

 

She grinned at him and finally lay down next to him in the bed, careful not to touch over anywhere he was hurt. “Is this okay?”

 

“I’d rather be squashed here than have the space on it to be alone.”

 

She inhaled deeply, “Thank you, Ben.”

 

He didn’t understand why she was thanking him but his reaction to the name was calm now. He knew what it meant in her mouth and it was a comforting thought. She had accepted him and he was loved. The stress of thinking he had been abducted back into the First Order was fading, bad memories replaced by her smile, though his mind was still in pieces on what happened. He knew now it was a beast?

 

She must have sensed his confusion through the force because she turned her head up to look at him. “For being there and for never leaving me.”

 

He frowned, “Don’t thank me for that, it’s what you deserve. Whatever I did I would do one thousand times over to save you from a minute of pain.”

 

She furrowed her eyebrows but ultimately sighed.

 

“It could have clawed your head off, I thought you were dead. Finn insisted you weren’t, if he hadn’t been there…” It was her turn to wince. “I wouldn’t have made it out... Luckily he was, he knows so much about other creatures he was able to take it down once you were attacked.”

 

It was clearer now, there was a cave, they could feel that it had a strong connection to the force. It was dark and there was a monster. A huge beast with claws and a disgusting mouth that pooled drool onto the floor. The beast had a huge influence over the force, especially over Kylo. It’s signature of the force was so similar to Snoke’s, it paralyzed him sending him through so many horrible thoughts and memories. Then there was a flash of red and everything was back to black.

 

“I froze up. I was weak.”

 

She snorted as if she was used to hearing his self-hatred. He did do it enough for her to be. “Ben, please. It caught all of us off guard. You’ve just been through different things.. It changes how you react.”

  
She hooked her leg over his leg on the blanket. “If it was anyone else they wouldn’t have made it out. But you did.”

 

“For you.” He added.   
  
She pulled the rest of herself over him and rested back on her elbows either side of him. “Thats pretty heroic then,” she grinned. “I’m touched.”

 

She kissed his chin, moving her soft and perfect lips downward over his neck. Taking her sweet time to breath him in and admire him.

 

“Is it bad to miss you so much in only a few days?” She asked softly.

 

“Probably. Though I think I missed you more.”

 

She kissed his neck, “Maybe? Though I don’t think it would be a good competition”

 

“No, because I’d lose.” Kylo grinned back as Rey finally kissed his collarbone, hovering there for a second before rolling off him. 

 

“Yes, you would and it’s probably because you never sleep enough. You’re somehow always finding another way to get hurt.”   
  


She sighed and buried her head into his side of his neck, despite the smell of bacta and blood he was home enough for her. Her lips tickled his skin when she spoke in a whisper. “Will you rest for me again?”

 

“Only if you if stay with me.” He slowly hooked his arm around her pulling her at all closer. His dark locks fell over her head as he brought his chin over her head.

 

“I have no plans to leave.” She murmured and let her eyes close. She had always been remarkably quick to sleep, it mirrored many of his sleepless nights. But he knew she had those as well.

 

Kylo let his gaze wander up to the durasteel ceiling of the ship momentarily, there was a familiar pattern to the way it was placed and a small stain indicating this was a well occupied ship. It was the Falcon, the place he spent much of his childhood, but it was hardly his home. That title belonged to her, his star. The one who brought light. 

 

Soon he let his eyes close with her and drift into a much more forgiving darkness.

 

Sleeping this close to her did the world for him. His obscure nightmares about the Order were something foreign and part of the past once more. Something only in the back of his mind and for Rey, she had some something that wouldn’t disappear or fade away. No, Kylo could feel her gratitude that he was able to take such a beating as much as she hated seeing him like that. It helped her fear that he would never leave her.

  
She was everything bright, an anchor in such a void of turmoil and he would forever be hers for as long as she would let him.


End file.
